Birthdays

why do we have to have them?

Since my 18th birthday, I have had very few of them that were good.
Most of my angst, depresson and hurt is my own doing, I know that, but still. Usually, like yesterday, birthday's are those crawl under the bed days. It's silly, I had phone calls from my beautiful, caring, sweet, husband and daughter. I got a box of presents from my daughter. My mom decided to give me a desk chair that I'd bought for myself using her credit card. So she just told me that I didn't have to pay her back for it.
My brother called today. He said he thought about it all week, and then thought about on the 9th and then of course forgot it yesterday.. I totally understand. I've forgotten his before. My folks forgot mine two years in a row. But that didn't really bother me.

I don't know why I have such a tough time with birthdays.

They best one was when my granddaughter, Unity, was born. It had been a really bad day. I'd pulled something in my back, which happens several times a year. Kevin and I had just walked in from the Doctor's office from getting a shot for the pain. The phone was ringing and Kevin ran to get it. It was my ex sister in law to tell me that Carrie-Ann was in the hospitall in labor.
Back in the car and made the hour and a half drive in about an hour. Still she didn't have the baby for a couple of hours. Nice birthday present. Wonderful birthday present.

One of the worst was that my first husband told me that he for sure wanted a divorce to end our 22 year marriage. Of course had I known what I know now, I'd have know it was the best thing to happen to me. I finished college and got a job and lived on my own. Became me, who I should have been all along. It was the worst thing for him. He is a pitiable human being. Only I don't really have any pity for him.
And I met my husband. March 27, is the anniversary of our meeting, 1998. He has his faults, but on the whole we are each other's saviours. Nother story.

I have something wrong with me. I don't know what it is. My back is very painful, my head feels like I have the flu, I'm tired and sleep two or three naps a day.
Nagging, dull headache. About 3 weeks now.

So OH.. one more thing about the birthday... I am 53 and I was born in 53. I'm hoping that this portends good things for me. Yorkshire, you were born in 53 too weren't you?

Gotta find the cat. Stir the soup. Put my chair together.
Hope you all if anyone reads this have wonderful days. Indi reads regularily.. Thank you. Yorkshire Pudding reads regularily. Thank you.

One of these days I'm going to surprize you guys with something fun and clever.